Safari Signs Off for the Summer

Our second destination was on the Ozone grid, address of course at the end of the post. This is our last tour until the Fall, so we went somewhere with stunning effects.

We were making a return to Dismayland the theme park with a twist, or rather many twists, jokes, puns, insults, a place that is gleesome and gruesome at the same time. After navigating the skybox where the security guards are pretty alarming, we arrived at ground level in the entrance tent where Spax, the grid owner, was awaiting us.

Spax Orion:  Last time HG Safari graced these grounds, every single one of you got a taste of Dismayland swamp water. ::: THEN ::: Atrius Station: The game arena didn't survive the evening. The IMAGE party got hijacked and the presentation was delivered entirely by pigeons. You took the game home in pieces. Dirty Helga called it a masterpiece. 

James.Atlloud: nice

Spax Orion: What started as an iniquitous fun fair is now a virtual novel — the NPCs, the sideshows, the rides, the rubbish on the ground — every piece is a word in a story designed to mock the very reality you just escaped.

Spax Orion our host and guide

Spax Orion: I thought we would have a SCAVENGER HUNT in the middle of a minefield this evening. There are several fountains in this park. ONE is the fountain of youth. Almost every fountain is a liar! Watch your health! Find the REAL one, tell the GAME BOARD its exact object Name — then describe WHY. What did it do? What did it say? Where exactly is it? What's nearby? 

Forest Azure: ah, one last time this season on Thirza's head

Thirza Ember: Forest I thought we had lost you

Forest Azure: you did,  i crashed after a warning about my height

James Atlloud: ha ha ha

Forest Azure: i hope that was a joke

Spax Orion:  SPECIAL REWARD for the first WIN token. The winner takes home the new Jester Speech Engine: AXIS, BLUNT and CRANK personalities. Talk to them around the park, they're a blast. Clues are everywhere. Only the ones that MAKE SENSE are probably true. Chat will be VERY busy. Leave particles on MAX or you'll miss something important. the fastest way to the game board is through the COW portal by the ticket booth....

Forest Azure: /me is pondering if that is something one would like to be compared with

Thirza Ember: OK, for those who do not speak English, it seems we need to click on all the fountains in the park to identify the real fountain of youth, from many fake ones... ?

Spax Orion: There are several fountains in this park. ONE is the fountain of youth. Almost every fountain is a liar! Watch your health! 

Petite but perfectly grown up Petlove joined us for this adventure

Petlove, whose avie is set to a petite height, also had a little difficulty in arriving, but soon overcame the problem and was delighted by the environment.

Petlove Petshop: Thirza...  this place is so nuts : D

To add to the animation of the place, Spax has lots of NPCs and other bots filling local chat to overflow with a mix of insults, conversation, and cryptic comments. If you visit alone, you'll feel like you're in a crowd. Loads of cultural references, and plenty of jokes 'in bad taste' - that usually makes them more funny, not less.

In an attempt to stop age play on his region, there's a sort of Park Ranger that uses the height of avatars to define if people are attempting to resemble children, so you're advised to increase your height if you want to enter. You'll also get ejected if your health runs out, so bear that in mind too.  The sheer weight of everything going on can mean it takes some time to become oriented enough to appreciate the details. 

Yara and Alex admire the rides

Forest Azure: /me is now totally confused AND sick after having been in one of them mean machines!

Thirza Ember: there's so much going on,  it's sensory overload here

Spax Orion: it would take a weekend to see everything

Ves Lecker: theres many ways to die too 

James Atlloud: Well, I'm 1/3 dead and no clue yet.   found one fountain different from the others, but it also hurt me.

Spax Orion: If those fountains had teeth, they would LIE right through them!

Tina Bey lol  this is a torture camp

Thirza Ember: LOL they are not fountains of love!

Spax Orion: no worse than that maze Ferd Ferdrix made years ago... he had that obstacle course oar, I think you can still get it, that one was creative genius

Thirza Ember: the colors are great here, looks wonderful, but deadly

Forest Azure: ehhh

Thirza Ember: I lost most of my life already, LOL, so  I'm not clicking on any more fountains

Forest Azure: oh.. can you loose life? ah, i guess i missed something then.

Dings Digital

Dings Digital:  Look what happened to me - 

ANGRY LAMENT BOX: You are so stupid, you'd trip over a cordless phone.

ANGRY LAMENT BOX: Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.

ANGRY LAMENT BOX: Seriously, you don't even ask if its OK to TOUCH me! You just walk your ass over and click away! RUDE!

Dings Digital: lol

Thirza Ember: You're having a good time being insulted!

Forest Azure: it says dangerous water

Forest Azure: i'm going to test the waters

Tina Bey: It's like those of the safari group, we are all minors...!

Thirza Ember: oh no forest be careful!

Forest awful close to the water's edge

We all ended up in the afterlife, and from there back at the arrival skybox where the security guard Wanda was still harassing George Lloyd

 Wanda Woak: Did you even bother to READ THE RULES? You would know you MEDIA types are NOT WANTED HERE!

George Lloyd: How the hell do you expect me to read the rules when you keep beating me with that stick?

Forest Azure: why do i keep reading these things!

Another disappointment for Dings 

Meanwhile Dings tried applying for a Loyalty card -  

MemberApplication: == DISMAYLAND LOYALTY REWARDS MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION -- RESULT == Status: DENIED.

MemberApplication: Primary Reason: Insufficient commitment to the concept of Dismayland.

MemberApplication: Secondary Reason: Wanda flagged the application.

MemberApplication: Tertiary Reason: CONFIDENTIAL. The board has reviewed the secondary reason and added a third reason which cannot be disclosed, appealed, or acknowledged in writing.

Dings Digital: my answers have been escalated, lol

MemberApplication: Thank you for applying. Your application has been retained for purposes that will not be explained. Have a Dismay day.

Thirza Ember: Dings - you are rejected!

Dings Digital: yes :-) this isn't VR, it is RL

After a while we congregated by the lake

Spax Orion: well the water is a 600mx600m kill zone -gives new meaning to "dont drink the water"

Forest Azure: it was kinda poetic

Thirza Ember: it sounds like an insurance nightmare

Forest Azure: i did not die of drinking the water .. i think?

James Atlloud: I fell in the swamp a couple times that killed me quick

Thirza Ember: lol i stopped trying to find the fountain because i kept losing health, but somehow i have lost health even while doing nothing

James Atlloud: Spax, can you tell how many people play the scavenger hunt?  Do you get stats for that?

 Spax Orion: I did not write that in, James instead.... I thought I have all of these elements? How can I make an activity out of it?

James Atlloud : an activity - like a "experience" ?

Spax Orion: this is a novel too... each sideshow has a story and it is knit into the main lore, I have enough to write a novel here

James.Atlloud: That's true!

Thirza Ember: I finally found the ghost ship, and will have to come back and figure out where the clowns are

James Atlloud: yes, I heard about the clowns, but not sure where either

Thirza Ember: i raised the brightness but still couldn't spot them !

James Atlloud: wow, the swamp is changing color for me

Spax Orion: I dropped one of Jimmy Olsen's NUKEs

SecurityDRONE: SECURITY ZONE. Move along. Nothing to see here. This drone is ARMED and Wanda personally approved the ammunition budget.

Thirza Ember: aaah! how can it be we are all still alive!

Spax Orion: You do not think I have not tortured everyone enough?

Tina Bey: yes i believe it

Thirza.Ember: oh i found the ghost ship at last

After a bit we returned to the afterlife where the shop itself is extremely chatty, here's a tiny sample.

AfterlifeGiftshop: Afterlife Tours are COMPLIMENTARY because you are DEAD and cannot be charged admission. This is the ONLY free thing in Dismayland history. Miser Glutnee is FURIOUS about it.

Spax had door prizes for those of who survived to the end of the wild ride, and he handed them out in this infernal extra part of the park.    

Thirza Ember: lol the hours of work that you have done here, amazing stuff

Spax Orion: Dirty Helga was a lot of help... and being retired with lots of free time....

James Atlloud: Ty for the gift!  Will try it at home!

Spax Orion: there is too much to see there, I think we doubled since the last time we had HGSafari here.

Tina Bey: I will return, although they have broken all our bones, twice

HG Address: xoaox.de:7000:Dismayland