How Not to be Lonely in Opensim

Ever heard someone say 'there's no-one in Opensim'? Or maybe that was you, talking to yourself - hey nothing wrong with that!

Opensim can often feel like a wide open, empty place. Quite intimidating after, say, the bustling sims of SL. That's not surprising when you compare its size to that of Second Life. 

SL in 2024 by primerib1 aka Claire Morgenthau

SL is not small. This picture shows the main continents at the center of a galaxy of private regions, but if you think that's huge, Opensim is waaaay bigger - if fact, if you're wondering why there's no map of opensim here, that's because it's impossible to say how big the connected hypergrid universe is. 

A few people try to give statistics about it, but they do not, and indeed cannot, know the full extent of opensim, since it is a completely decentralized and unregulated meta-place where anyone at any time and for any duration can have a grid without reporting to any higher authority. 

That means there's no central control, nobody keeping complete records of all the comings and goings of our hyperverse - it just can't be done in a meaningful way. 

If you could map Opensim, it might look like this -
 lots of tiny worlds and some gaping black holes 

On top of that, there'a a strong bias toward building and experimenting in Opensim. SL has a vigorous and large cohort of consumers/floaters all looking for something to buy or to do or to connect with. 

In contrast, the vast majority of people online in the hyperverse are busy at something, whether they're decorating their sim, hunting for assets, creating content, organizing or performing at social events, working on scripts, preparing artwork, participating in roleplay, or improving their skills at activities like sailing. The complaint that there are 'only about 200 people online' across all the sims registered on the opensimworld website is easily explained - plenty of people choose not to advertise to strangers the fact that they're busy inworld.

Perhaps that's what makes opensim so endlessly intriguing. It also makes it hard work. 

So, how can you avoid the loneliness of the wilderness wanderer?

Well, first of all there is nothing wrong with being alone and sampling the constructions and content that opensim has to offer. In fact, going on your own can often be a lag-beater, especially on intensely detail rich sims. So embrace that! When you see a sim you really like, consider sending a message of appreciation to the sim owner. You can do that inworld by editing any object on the sim - floors and posters are a good choice - and clicking the name under 'owner'. You can see their profile, and send them an IM.  Be positive, respectful, and brief. You might make a new friend.

Some people make it really easy for you to say thank you

Are you looking for a tribe, or simply some pleasant company? Either way, many grids have regular weekly events that you can attend, to meet new people in a dance environment. In SL, it's pretty easy to find where people are, by using the built in features of the Viewer.  Opensim on the other hand is not a conglomerate, it's a loosely linked archipelago, and so you need a different strategy.  

The best way to find out what's happening is to be plugged in to social media, of one kind or another. The website opensimworld.com has an  page where a lot of grids post their parties, classes, tours, or other group activities.  Warning - the front page of opensimworld, with its rather challenging contributors, may make you feel like you have stumbled into a brawl in a nuthouse. With that in mind, consider bookmarking the Events page, that way you skip the dyspeptic smorgasbord of The Box. If you're looking for a specific object, why not try Nico Kalani's wonderful  group  What Are You Looking For where people share information about hard-to-find assets. 

Nico's group is a friendly community within OSW

You can check info about upcoming events on Facebook, where there are lots of opensim-friendly groups including John Simmons' appropriately named 'Hypergrid Happenings'  - just to name one out of a dozen opensim groups - that will give you all the latest information. Join several groups to get a wide range of notices about upcoming events.

Not a FB fan?  Discord also has many, many OS-friendly groups - pretty much every grid has its own Discord Server but there are also plenty of general groups and discussion forums, like Ai Austin's one about the opensimulator code or Mal Burns' ginormous Hypergrid Explorers and Creators server.

MeWe, if you're into that, has a large group called Opensim Virtual (I wonder if there's also an 'opensim real' group too?) and other groups for Scripters, and even a Dream-grid users' group which, while it's not the official source of help for DG problems, will give you some assistance if you're struggling. 

If you really hate Social Media, and who can blame you, try grid websites. Just to give you a few examples, click here to see how AMV keep you up to date with their impressive range of parties, and here is  Wolf Territories grid's  Destination guide which is both efficient and informative. Kitely's events calendar shows everything going on over there, from Blender classes to Bible sessions. Lots of other grids do something similar, so google the grid's name to find them!

Each grid has a unique way to let you know about upcoming events.
This is Pangea's website.

This pesky round planet, with its 38 time zones, (there's a useless factoid for you!) further complicates matters. Most users of opensim fall into three groups, the Americas, Europe, and the Far East/Australasia. 

We still tend to stick to SLT for tradition's sake (a bit like the qwerty keyboard) so midday in SLT is 4pm in Buenos Aires, 9pm in Berlin, and 4am in Tokyo. Obviously there is no one good time for everyone to be at home and awake  and online. 

Thanks to Aussie Envee, OSGrid, often termed the 'crossroads of Opensim' runs epic 12 hour music events at the weekend on Event Plaza, to try to deal with that, and many other grids have regular weekly gatherings that match the times when most of their regulars are online.  People are out there, but you may have to work a bit to find them.

Music parties aren't always the ideal venue for making friends. Not everyone's there to chat, and unsolicited IMs can be misinterpreted... say no more. Another way to become part of the community could be to participate in annual events in opensim. In each case, contact the organizers and see if there's a way you can get involved

• OSCC is the longest running convention in opensim, it began in 2012. It's a weekend long event, usually held in November / December, with speakers from all over opensim. Every year there are openings for speakers, but also Greeters and other behind the scenes volunteers
• OSFest is an annual gathering with a focus on music and art all over the hypergrid, this year it will be held from October 4 - 20
• Opensim Worlds Fair is a new event for opensim, organized on a megaregion, and will be a month-long festival in March 2025, on Wolf Territories Grid. They are already holding regular monthly meetings where you can find out more about how to participate.
• Hypergrid International Expo is an annual conference with art performances and talks in various languages other than English. There is an Expo park attached to the HIE auditorium, where people from any grid can advertise their projects, regions, and activities. The next HIE event is in April 2025.

Add to these four events the many, many Grid birthday events, and you'll see there are lots of ways you can support, contribute, and enrich the opensim experience, while making new acquaintances.

Drama is *arguably* the biggest cause of loneliness in any social experience. If you spread it, people will avoid you, and if you rely on drama monkeys to be your friends, you will find they suck all the energy and enjoyment out of your opensim experience and convert it into pointless rancor. Tribalism is another common pitfall. Loyalty and reliability are positive qualities, but you can take them too far.

Opensim works best when it's not a collection of warring worlds. You're a grown-up, you know the importance of having perspective in your dealings with others. Don't let your avatar lose its mind, and you will run much less of a risk of finding yourself alone.

Finally: to get a friend you have to be a friend. Don't be anybody's doormat, but don't be so caught up in your own needs that you forget to reach out to others. 

Support musicians and artists and sim owners with positive comments, and maybe a few intelligent questions. 

Share pictures of your creations with everyone  on the socials, but be sure to comment on and Like  other people's posts. 

Reciprocity is not only hard to spell - it is a spell, it's the magic glue that holds together the community. And the best cure for loneliness in the world.